~Missed~

 

 

Well, today has been a year since we lost you. And there hasn't been a single day gone by that I haven't thought about it. We had become very good friends and I miss that friendship. The walks we often took when the kids all got to bed, talking, texting, sitting on your couch folding laundry together(which we both decided was never ending), hanging out, just about every other day, and the many other things. If we weren't at your house, you guys were here. And if we missed a day, my kids were begging to go to Aunt Tyra's house or have you guys over for supper again. :o)There are so many things that remind me of you..... Beef hot dogs, certain songs, sea salt, straws, dove chocolates, laundry, red vans,7 grain bread that you tried to convince me was so good(and never was), dasani bottled water, your mixed drink of juice and sprite, your crazy taste on clothes, (that I liked to tease you about) and so many other things. We drive by your house every day, there are days I see you in your yard, getting your mail, or watching your kids in the pool, when we would honk(to my kids wishes) you smiled and waved!  And there are other days it is like a nightmare I can't get away from.  There are so many things I wish I would have said and some things I wish I wouldn't have. Just knowing that you left hurting inside, hurts me, and it is hard to get over. Even though I did my best to be there,it just doesn't feel like enough. I admired how you loved your kids and they were first on your priority list, they were your life. And you even told me that several times. It has changed my thinking and made me want to do better and not worry so much about a clean house and a nice meal but to focus more on my kids, they will be gone before I know it. I watched you trust and serve God though your tough times and it amazed me. My kids thought the world of you, and often talk about you, how much they miss you and the memories they have and other times ask some difficult questions, that we really have no answer for. I have seen Courtney several times get your picture and just hold it and look at it, sometimes even talking to you with tears in her eyes.:o) You were loved very much and I hope that if anyone has walked away with any good that they at least tell those they love how much they love them and spend time with them, cause we never know when it may be the last time.